


im just straight chillin shit am i even still allowed to use that phrase anymore are the sexuality police gonna come clap a hand on my shoulder and say excuse me sir you need to come with us

by itsdave



Category: Homestuck
Genre: M/M, Meteorstuck, Retcon Timeline
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-03-22
Updated: 2020-03-30
Packaged: 2021-02-28 20:26:52
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 2
Words: 4,316
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/23253166
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/itsdave/pseuds/itsdave
Summary: Dave and Rose have a heart to heart.
Relationships: Dave Strider/Karkat Vantas
Comments: 56
Kudos: 206





	1. Chapter 1

turntechGodhead [TG] began trolling tentacleTherapist [TT]  


TG: hey rose  
TT: Dave.  
TT: What a surprise.  
TT: How are you?  
TG: oh you know me im just straight chillin  
TG: or you know  
TG: not exactly straight chillin  
TG: haha shit am i even still allowed to use that phrase anymore  
TG: are the sexuality police gonna come clap a hand on my shoulder as im laughin away like a fool all carefree at the olive garden and say excuse me sir you need to come with us  
TG: then they bundle me away into this creepy unmarked van and take me to a spooky warehouse where they got this whole surveillance setup with monitors and shit and that guy from the matrix who just wanted a steak all typin and hackin away on 20 different keyboards  
TG: all the monitors are playing back footage of me and karkat holding hands at various points in history  
TG: the detectives lean real close behind me and say mr strider does this look straight to you  
TG: i gotta act all contrite and say nooo i guess when you put it like that like if youre gonna go all enemy of the state on me despite having that guy from the matrix like what the fuck how am i supposed to take your operation seriously if you cant even keep your late 90s classics straight  
TG: then they give me this real pointed stare with one hella long blink as i realize what i just said  
TG: im like ok ok i get it fine i guess ill try to be a little more mindful or whatever and purge this phrase thats totally etymologically unrelated from my vocabulary  
TG: like i dont really get it but if it cuts down on impromptu sketchy ass warehouse trips then you know what im all for it can you guys give me a lift back to the olive garden now or what  
TG: and they throw a bag over my head and leave me all dazed and confused on a wharf somewhere i have to find my own way back to the olive garden everybodys gone its been hours i didnt even get to eat that fully loaded tiramisu i ordered  
TT: I see.  
TG: what im sayin is i know you were all tempted to psychoanalyze me about my terminology rose but i got way out ahead of you  
TG: you were all primed on the starting block of the big daves sexuality grand prix footrace 500  
TG: all in your sweet black and purple nike lalonde tm style sneakers  
TG: hot new wheaties sponsorship deal under the belt of your gym shorts  
TG: all ready and rarin to go  
TG: usain bolts in the stands hes sheddin a single tear when he sees what he coulda been if only hed applied himself  
TG: but then what is this the announcer says over the loudspeakers  
TG: it seems theres a new contestant this is totally how these races work right you can just run up and join yeah sure why not  
TG: why its dave himself the announcer says and hes fucking grabbing the baton out of the hands of his sister our star and favorite runner rose and barreling down the track at a million miles an hour  
TG: wow just look at that boy run it is a thing of beauty here he comes up to the first freudian slip hurdle and yep he doesnt even try to jump his feet dont even leave the ground he just beefs straight fucking into it  
TG: you hear that even i the announcer am bringing up being straight thats just the kinda race this is folks thats just the kinda show we put on here we never disappoint  
TG: and now dave has totally tangled himself up in the hurdle he has somehow glitched himself INSIDE of it like a fucking tony hawk pro skater avatar as ska plays on mournfully forever in the distance  
TG: this has been one hell of a race here today folks you dont have to hear it from me but by god i am just gonna tell you anyway goodnight ladies and gentlemen  
TT: Alright.  
TG: my point is your smart ass comments are worthless here lalonde  
TG: i reappropriated that shit  
TT: To my knowledge I don’t remember making any smart ass comments for quite some time.  
TT: Not since you and Karkat became open about your relationship.  
TG: cmon rose you know a mans gotta keep on his toes  
TG: gotta remain ever vigilant  
TG: you never know when your fuckin sisters gonna drop from the ceiling like some kinda ninja and lay a fuckin sexuality crisis on you  
TG: shit you know what its like?  
TT: I can see that you’re typing, Dave.  
TT: And while I can’t express how much I’m looking forward to another wall of analogy-laden red text.  
TT: _Really_ , I am.  
TT: I feel compelled to cut you off here, and match you with my own, slightly less rambling wall.  
TG: oh  
TG: ok go ahead hit me  
TT: Alright. Here it goes...  
TT: It hurts me that you still feel the need to be on the lookout for snide comments from me, Dave.  
TT: I’ve been trying to be better about it, but maybe I’ve been remiss by not making my intentions clear enough, hoping instead that you’ll wordlessly pick up on them.  
TT: So I’m going to bite the proverbial bullet and try a more direct approach.  
TG: uh  
TT: I want you to know, Dave, that I would never dream of doing that to you, now.  
TT: I’m so proud of the progress you’ve made with your own identity, and the happiness and peace it has clearly brought you.  
TG: oh  
TT: In fact, if anything, I feel I should be apologizing to you.  
TT: I’ve been thinking about this a lot lately, and I suppose this is as good an opportunity as any to hash this out with you.  
TG: wait rose  
TT: No, please, Dave. Let me say this before I lose my nerve.  
TG: oh god  
TT: I know that I used to make a habit of wheedling and prodding you, Dave.  
TT: “Psychoanalyzing” you, as you called it.  
TT: But I want you to know that I feel terribly about it, now.  
TG: um  
TG: you do?  
TT: Yes.  
TT: I’ve done some serious self-reflection, Dave.  
TT: Turned the psychoanalytic mirror back on myself, if you will.  
TT: And I’ve only just recently started to understand how much of my pushing you was really, at its root, an attempt to push myself. A simultaneous disavowal and masochistic embrace of my own anxieties and apprehensions.  
TG: um  
TT: If we could drop all the silly ironic pretenses for a few scant lines of sincerity, Dave, I’d like to offer a real, genuine apology for my behavior.  
TG: oh fuck  
TT: Lord knows we don’t make a habit of being honest and forthright with each other.  
TT: And it makes sense.  
TT: Neither of us was exactly raised to embrace familial bonds or emotional openness. So I think it’s best if we agree never to speak of this again after this conversation.  
TG: fuck  
TG: please don't do this!  
TT: But just this once, I want to tell you, with all affectation stripped away, how proud I am to be your sister, not to mention your friend.  
TG: no  
TG: rose  
TG: stop  
TT: I love you, Dave.  
TG: god *fucking* dammit!  
TG: i mean  
TG: fuuuuuck  
TT: ...  
TT: I know it’s you, Karkat.  
TG: what???  
TT: I was enjoying myself, and was more than ready to “entrench myself in this bitch,” but Dave has asked me to put you out of your misery.  
TG: oh for the love of  
TG: IS DAVE FUCKING THERE WITH YOU??  
TT: yeah man im here  
TG: FUCKING  
TG: AHHH  
TG: YOU SAID YOU WERE JUST GOING TO THE MEAL BLOCK!!!  
TT: yeah i was i did but i ran into rose here were hanging out  
TT: you know  
TT: just straight chillin  
TG: FUUUCK  
TT: haha dude what the fuck do you make a habit of posing as me every time i leave my phone in our block is this a whole thing  
TT: like should i be concerned about this im not gonna be gettin any unsolicited valentines from fuckin gamzee or anything am i  
TG: NO!  
TG: GOD FUCKING DAMMIT  
TG: THIS WAS THE FIRST TIME!  
TG: I JUST  
TG: I JUST WANTED TO SEE IF I COULD GET AWAY WITH IT, OK?  
TT: hahaha oh my god  
TG: I WASN’T COUNTING ON YOU FUCKING *BEING THERE!*  
TT: yeah i guess that kinda ruined the grand illusion huh  
TG: YOU THINK??  
TT: oh also rose says she woulda known anyway  
TT: apparently you got a tell bro  
TG: WHAT??  
TG: NO I FUCKING DON’T!  
TG: ...  
TG: WHAT IS IT?  
TT: hahaha i donno she wont say apparently shes keepin it in the back pocket of her god tiery tunic for future similar goofs  
TT: its a  
TT: what the fuck  
TT: hold on  
TT: It's a shibboleth.  
TG: WHAT THE FUCK IS THAT?  
TT: Don’t worry about it.  
TT: You should be flattered, Karkat. It really was a stellar impression.  
TT: You almost had me.  
TT: Extenuating circumstances notwithstanding, of course.  
TG: YEAH, *THANKS.*  
TG: ...  
TG: YOU KNOW THE FIRST TIME I PULLED THIS SHIT ON DAVE, I ACTUALLY GOT HIM.  
TT: What?  
TG: NOW *THAT’S* AN EXTENUATING FUCKING CIRCUMSTANCE.  
TT: I’d say so.  
TT: How did you...  
TG: HE THOUGHT I WAS FUCKING FUTURE HIM.  
TT: ...You don’t say.  
TG: OH GOD DAMMIT.  
TG: NO!  
TG: YOU KNOW WHAT I MEAN!  
TT: Yes I do.  
TT: I also know Dave has made a solemn vow against time travel, rendering _both_ interpretations of that sentence highly unlikely.  
TG: YEAH, WELL *HE* FUCKING FORGOT!  
TG: BECAUSE I GOT HIM HOOK LINE AND WEIGHTED DEVICE.  
TT: Ha!  
TG: I DO *NOT* HAVE A FUCKING TELL!  
TT: You’re right.  
TG: WAIT  
TG: I AM?  
TT: Yes.  
TT: You don’t have one. You actually have several.  
TG: NO I *FUCKING* DON’T!  
TG: IF I CAN GET DAVE, I CAN GET YOU!  
TT: Is that so?  
TG: YES!  
TG: I AM GONNA FUCKING GET YOU!  
TG: WHEN YOU LEAST SUSPECT IT!  
TG: AND WHEN I KNOW DAVE’S NOT THERE TO FUCKING BLOW UP MY SPOT!  
TG: I’M GETTING YOU, LALONDE.  
TT: Oh my, are we veering into spades territory here?  
TG: WHAT??  
TT: Why Mr. Vantas. So forward.  
TG: NO!!  
TG: FUCK!  
TG: NO!!!!  
TG: I AM *NOT* FUCKING HITTING ON YOU!  
TG: JESUS!  
TG: I JUST KNOW *DAMN* WELL THAT MY DAVE IMPRESSION IS PERFECTION!  
TG: I AM THE *MASTER* OF THE FUCKING DAVE IMPRESSION!  
TT: Oh my god.  
TT: oh no  
TT: dude rose is down for the count  
TT: she cant stop laughing  
TT: i think you broke her  
TG: GOOD.  
TT: haha  
TG: FUCK  
TG: WAIT  
TG: DAVE  
TG: YOU KNOW I’M NOT ACTUALLY  
TG: UH  
TT: what spades hitting on rose  
TG: ...  
TG: YEAH.  
TT: yeah i know dude im not jealous dont worry  
TG: OK  
TG: GOOD  
TT: youre just hella protective of your stridesona i get it  
TG: YOU’RE GODDAMN RIGHT I AM!  
TT: ahahahaha  
TG: ...  
TG: DAVE  
TT: yeah  
TG: *DO* I HAVE A TELL?  
TT: man who the hell knows i thought it was perfect  
TG: *THANK* YOU!  
TT: but we are DEFINITELY gonna fuck with rose and figure out if shes full of shit or not  
TG: THIS IS WHY I LOVE YOU.  
TT: thats the only reason huh  
TG: YEP.  
TT: shit  
TT: how bout if i bring back cookies  
TG: OK  
TG: TWO REASONS  
TT: nice  
TT: on my way  
TG: <3  
TT: <3  


tentacleTherapist [TT] ceased trolling turntechGodhead [TG]  



	2. Chapter 2

turntechGodhead [TG] began trolling carcinoGeneticist [CG]  


TG: ok dude you ready  
CG: YEAH I GUESS.  
CG: FUCK, THIS IS SO DEMEANING.  
CG: ROSE IS PROBABLY JUST FULL OF SHIT.  
CG: DAVE.  
CG: SHE CAN *NEVER* KNOW WE DID THIS.  
TG: cmon bro my lips are sealed i would never betray your trust when it comes to secret rose owning shenanigans you know that  
CG: YEAH.  
CG: I DO.  
CG: THANKS.  
TG: yeah you dont fuckin deserve me  
CG: HAHAHA!  
TG: now cmon bro hit me with your best me  
CG: WAIT!  
TG: what  
CG: SHOULDN'T WE LIKE...  
CG: HAVE SOMETHING TO COMPARE IT TO?  
TG: hm  
TG: you mean like a control group  
CG: YEAH EXACTLY.  
TG: ok cool thats perfect lets go all scientific method up in this bitch  
TG: you know im known far and wide for the illness of my science  
CG: OH MY GOD  
TG: so this should be easy it should be no problem  
TG: what exactly did you have in mind  
CG: OH I’M IN CHARGE NOW?  
CG: WHAT HAPPENED TO MR. SCIENCE?  
CG: I THOUGHT YOU HAD THIS SHIT ON LOCK.  
TG: yeah of course i do karkat how dare you  
TG: but this was your idea  
TG: i thought maybe you had somethin in mind like something specific to work with i was just deferring to you i was just bein a gentleman  
CG: YEAH, I BET.  
CG: I *DID* ACTUALLY HAVE AN IDEA, THOUGH.  
TG: hey there ya go  
CG: THERE YA GO.  
CG: I WAS THINKING WE PICK A TOPIC, THEN WE BOTH RIFF ON IT FOR A WHILE.  
CG: JUST LET OUR DISGUSTING DAVENESS WASH OVER IT UNTIL IT’S GOOD AND FUCKING SATURATED.  
TG: dude  
TG: gross  
CG: YEAH, AND THEN WE’LL COMPARE NOTES.  
TG: ok so we dont write it in real time like in the chat  
CG: NO, OF COURSE NOT!  
CG: IF WE DO THAT WE’LL BE ABLE TO STEAL EACH OTHER’S IDEAS!  
TG: hahaha dude are you seriously worried im gonna steal from you  
TG: like im gonna be pickin your brain for ways to sound more like my authentic self  
CG: HEY, IT COULDN’T HURT.  
TG: bahaha  
CG: IT MIGHT HELP YOU ON THE PATH TO FUCKING ENLIGHTENMENT.  
TG: ahaha holy shit  
TG: ok  
TG: we need a topic  
TG: for the sake of fairness i suggest we get said topic from an outside source yknow so nobodys got an advantage  
CG: YEAH. THAT MAKES SENSE.  
TG: cool im textin terezi real quick  
CG: OK.  
TG: ok cool so the topic du jour is  
TG: “dragons”  
CG: WOW.  
CG: ARE YOU SURE THAT WAS ACTUALLY TEREZI YOU TALKED TO?  
TG: haha cmon there were a few other choice possibilities  
TG: like yknow  
TG: justice  
TG: execution  
TG: uh  
TG: licking shit  
TG: goddamn you trolls have such fuckin stupid themes  
TG: i donno if we even have to ask anybody  
TG: like if we keep doin this im pretty sure we can just pretend to text somebody but in reality just draw a slip of paper from a hat fulla real obvious heavy handed bizarro thematic elements with fuckin zodiac flair  
CG: OH FUCK YOU!  
TG: oh yeah man i totally texted vriska  
TG: her suggestions were fuckin spiders luck and narrative relevance  
TG: yeah she really did text back you just didnt hear my phone ping i got it on silent no you cant see my screen dont worry about it  
CG: DAVE, I FEEL LIKE YOU’RE STEALING SOME REALLY FUCKING CHOICE MATERIAL RIGHT OUT FROM UNDER ME HERE.  
TG: what no this doesnt have shit to do with dragons  
TG: our actual topic  
TG: if anything youre gettin some last minute notes im just throwin in a master class free of charge  
CG: HAHA!  
TG: ok cool lets do this  
TG: dragons  
TG: i guess well like  
TG: just type on our own for a few minutes then paste it in here  
TG: sound good  
CG: YEAH.  
CG: SHOULD WE SET A TIMER OR SOMETHING?  
TG: naw i got this shit ill just use my aspect get somethin useful out of it for once im my fuckin life  
CG: YEP, THIS IS *DEFINITELY* WHAT SKAIA HAD IN MIND FOR YOU WHEN IT GIFTED YOU THE FUCKING ABILITY TO COMMUNE WITH TIME ITSELF.  
TG: you bet your gray ass it was  
CG: HAHA!  
TG: now get typin bro you got 5 minutes lets see you work that magic  
CG: OK.  
TG: ready set  
TG: go  


TG: aaaand time  
TG: you got somethin  
CG: YEAH, OF COURSE I DO!  
TG: oh damn bold fuckin words  
TG: for your information i too have something and its gonna knock your socks off just completely change your dragon worldview and also your socks since you lost the last pair  
CG: HAHAHA  
CG: OK, I GUESS LET’S JUST PASTE WHAT WE’VE GOT.  
TG: k  


TG: what the fuck is up with dragons anyway  
howd we come up with that as an idea of a kind of animal we wanted hangin around  
like some sucker took a long hard look at a dinosaur and said ok this is cool and all this is kinda workin for me but hear me out what if it had wings and fire breath and like a totally inexplicable obsession with gold yeah thats soundin way more like my kinda animal  
seriously what is up with that whole treasure thing whyd so many so called dragon experts get all hung up on that particular aspect like how many other animals do you know mythological or not who take a real interest in the economy  
go ahead and count em up i dont think youre gonna find many  
but for some reason these total weirdoes have just like wormed their way into our collective hearts weve pretty much decided they count as a normal animal to such a bizarre overblown extent that weve started crossin them with other animals  
i KNOW you know im gonna play the shrek card here  
trust me its not just because im doin the whole forbidden interspecies dance myself  
cuz i KNOW you were thinkin about it too everybody is  
its a tale old as time two different animals hook up they make a buncha babies that are a totally unrealistic mix of their parents that draws from all the cutest parts of both thats fine thats a much needed contribution to society theres nothin wrong with that  
but when shrek came out there was a great unrest people were crashin their cars not goin to work forgettin to eat it was anarchy  
literally no one could get their shit together to go about their normal daily lives they were all too caught up in wondering how in the sweet hell that donkey and that dragon managed to fuck  


CG: dude its pretty fuckin weird that dragons worked their way into both our universes subconsciousness  
i mean i know theres all this specific shit got carried over like ok we both have japan we both have kool aid we both have fucking jamie oliver and his cute lil face that scrunches up all smarmy while hes tellin you the best way to chop a kipper  
but seriously like at least those things actually exist they have mass in the real world or in this case worlds plural  
but dragons unlike the naked chef himself dont even have the privilege of being a real thing  
its like spyro the fuckin dragon just stuck his purple lil head up in the mythos of both our totally independent psychologies and said yo whats up is it cool if i chill here that playstation was hella cramped there were only like ten polygons in there just between you and me im not sure the technology was there for 3d when i came into being i think sony mighta been pushin their luck  
and then both trolls and humans were like hey awesome come on in and bring your lil dragonfly buddy too well make this shit a party well just work you into all kindsa tiny lil corners of our mythology across the fuckin globe where youll always kinda look exactly the same despite having no actual real world analogue  
and at least once a donkey voiced by eddie murphy is gonna fuck one of you and have some seriously weird babies and EVERYONES gonna be wondering how exactly that went down despite bein in the fuckin landmark cinema with their three little kids theyre just not gonna be able to help it itll be just a regular fact of life  


TG: hahahahhaha  
CG: HAHAHA  
CG: OH MY GOD!  
CG: I CAN'T *BELIEVE* WE BOTH ENDED ON THE SHREK THING!  
TG: i can that shit is a cultural touchstone  
CG: I GUESS IT FUCKING MUST BE.  
TG: course it is that was the point of like half my whole thing  
CG: HAHAHA!  
TG: dude yours is amazing  
CG: THANKS.  
CG: YOURS IS PRETTY FUCKING GREAT TOO.  
TG: oh my god karkat are you serious right now  
CG: WHAT??  
TG: dude you cant just compliment a guy on sounding like himself  
CG: HAHAHA!  
TG: that is so incredibly weak  
CG: FUCK.  
CG: YOU'RE RIGHT.  
CG: SORRY  
CG: IF IT MAKES YOU FEEL BETTER, I ACTUALLY HAVE SOME NOTES.  
TG: bahaha oh yeah?  
CG: YEAH.  
CG: TONS.  
TG: well ok then notes like what  
CG: ...OK I’M KIDDING.  
CG: I THOUGHT YOURS WAS GREAT.  
TG: haha aw thanks man  
TG: for the sake of our relationship im gonna go ahead and choose to take that as a beautiful heartfelt and loving expression of esteem and not just you telling me i didnt totally suck at being myself for five minutes  
CG: GOOD.  
CG: BECAUSE THAT’S WHAT IT IS.  
TG: haha wait which  
CG: ...  
CG: BOTH.  
TG: oh my god  
TG: love you too dude  
CG: <3  
TG: <3  
TG: actually wait i do have a note  
CG: WHAT??  
CG: REALLY??  
TG: haha jesus calm down the whole reason were doin this is to sniff out weaknesses its to reliably trick rose in the upcoming future aka every chance we get forever  
CG: YEAH, YOU’RE RIGHT.  
CG: FINE.  
CG: LET’S HEAR IT.  
CG: WHAT’S YOUR “NOTE?”  
TG: all it is is im pretty sure dragons actually did exist on alternia  
TG: wasnt terezis mom a dragon i thought that was part of the reason she was so into them  
CG: YEAH, DRAGONS WERE REAL.  
TG: well ok then  
CG: BUT THAT’S NOT THE POINT!  
CG: THE WHOLE *POINT* IS THAT *YOU* DON’T KNOW THEY WERE REAL!  
TG: ...  
CG: I’M SEEING THE WORLD THROUGH YOUR TINY STUPID HUMAN EYES, DAVE!  
CG: I’VE PUT MY RIDICULOUS EARTH BLINDERS ON TO KEEP THE FUCKING ILLUSION ALIVE!  
TG: ok but dude  
CG: WHAT?  
TG: do you seriously not see the problem here  
CG: FUCKING WHAT, DAVE??  
TG: karkat  
TG: literally the only reason were having this conversation right now  
TG: is because i DO know that  
TG: like...  
CG: ...  
TG: do you see  
CG: OH  
TG: do you see what im saying  
CG: OH FUCK.  
TG: bhahaha  
CG: GOD DAMMIT!  
TG: shit maybe thats your tell  
TG: maybe you play up how fucking stupid and transdimensionally ignorant you APPARENTLY think i am and rose can sniff that shit out a mile away  
TG: cuz shes used to talkin to such a suave intellectual as myself  
CG: DAVE, THE FIRST TIME I DID THIS, *YOU* THOUGHT I WAS YOU.  
CG: IF I PRETENDED TO BE AN IDIOT AND TRICKED YOU...  
CG: DAVE...  
TG: whoa hey  
CG: I THINK I HAVE SOME BAD FUCKING NEWS FOR YOU.  
TG: oh fuck you man  
CG: HAHAHA!  
CG: SORRY!  
TG: no i donno i just happened to know about that whole dragon deal from terezi  
TG: but honestly i mighta just gone along with your train of thought anyway you know just for the sake of cinematic parallels  
CG: WELL OK THEN.  
CG: SOUNDS LIKE I WAS RIGHT ALL ALONG.  
TG: haha oh my god dude you get so fuckin uppity about your stridesona  
CG: I EARNED THE RIGHT!  
TG: its hilarious  
CG: I’M FUCKING GREAT AT IT!  
TG: you are a menace bro  
CG: HRMPH  
TG: anyway dude im not comin up with any glaring errors here theres nothing in your wall of red that screams out karkat was here that i can see  
TG: i donno  
TG: maybe youre good  
CG: ...MAYBE  
TG: whats wrong  
CG: NOTHING JUST  
CG: DAVE, IF I GET FOUND OUT BY ROSE AGAIN I DON’T KNOW IF I’LL BE ABLE TO HANDLE IT.  
TG: aw your poor lil egos gonna take a hit  
CG: MY EGO IS FUCKING ENORMOUS AND YES!  
TG: bahahaha  
TG: well ok then lets do some more reps lets run through some more topics if nothin else youll get some good practice in  
TG: dude  
TG: you are gonna get  
CG: OH NO  
TG: RIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIPPPPPPPPPED!  
CG: OH MY GOD.  
TG: cmon im serious lets do another  
TG: i totally just texted vriska she definitely got back to me she threw me a total fucking swerve she didnt go for any of the topics i listed shes instead comin in way outta left field and goin with “the number 8”  
CG: PFFFF  
TG: you trolls really know how to keep a guy on his toes those rivers run deep some people say youre basic and played out but theyre wrong karkat theyre so wrong  
CG: OH SHUT THE FUCK UP!!  
TG: hahaha sorry  
CG: YOU’RE SUCH AN ASSHOLE.  
TG: <3  
CG: <3  
TG: ok cmon lets hit it 5 minutes im settin the timer stretch those little fingers out dude get ready  
CG: OK  
CG: FINE  
CG: I’M STRETCHING.  
CG: ARE YOU GONNA DO THE COUNTDOWN AGAIN?  
TG: hell yeah i am  
TG: 3  
TG: 2  
TG: 1  
TG: dave  
CG: BAHAHA!  
TG: dude shut up and type  
CG: I'M TYPING! I'M TYPING!  



End file.
